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雅思大作文9分例文

中国人写的雅思作文有结构但语言不够地道native speaker写的文章够地道但不够雅思因此市面上总找不到完美的雅思例文

此次我特别邀请我的美国朋友同样研究和教授雅思按照我的要求写了一些文章这里逐一贴出来让大家分享一下。

题目:

Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

例文:

  Some feel that the children of low income families are better equipped to deal with difficulties posed by the 'real world' when they grow up and they also believe the privileged children of wealthy families are less fit to deal with these difficulties .  The implications and veracity of this argument seem self-evident, but in fact require closer examination. (58 words)

  点评1+ 1 ' 模式最后 1 句为主题句。此段的主题句稍微有点特殊它的确否定了前面所提到的观点从而表达出了自己的观点此外还引出了下文特别是最后半句but in fact require closer examination,感觉是在抛砖引玉。

  The popular wisdom is that children of poorer families learn early on the value of a buck, and are thus naturally better suited to stretching money when times get tough in adulthood. Inversely, the children of wealthy families, those born with a silver spoon in their mouths, are believed to be completely ignorant of the value of money, having had everything provided for them in their youth and oftentimes erroneously expecting the same situation in adulthood. They are believed to be prone to overspending and financial irresponsibility. This belief, though logical, overlooks one key point which is, of course, education. (100 words)

  点评1 ' +3 模式 1 句是主题句请注意从此段的内容来看这是个让步段即分析自己并不赞成的观点)。虽然 4 段论的作文的主体段是两面讨论但是本人还是喜欢这样的写作即主体段的观点还是有侧重的把让步段放在前面最后 1 句话引出下一段这样过度地很自然而且自己的观点也比较明确

  The basis of this argument is, of course, knowing the value of money, and the idea that children of the poor know this, and those of the wealthy do not. Who though, is in a better position to teach their children the value of money; someone skilled in earning and keeping it, the wealthy parent, or someone who can not seem to acquire it, the poor parent? Both wealthy and poor children are equally likely to acquire an education in money, whether it is formal, or in the school of hard knocks. Conversely, both children are as likely to ignore this education. (101 words)

  点评这段的内容感觉写得不够直接还是在分析对方观点的漏洞请注意前面让步段已经这么写过了那么这一段最好是正面地论证自己的观点这样从内容上来说更 convincing 一点此外需要说明的是大家发现作者的内容还是有一定深度但是这是要有一定的英语功底才行的如果英语功底不行的话建议内容不要写太深因为那样容易造成考官看不懂你在说什么

  A poor child may believe that one can get along, if not as easily, without wealth. A wealthy child may be well trained by a parent steeped in the knowledge of money management; the key to developing this skill is education.

  点评最后一段有点像是提出解决这个问题的办法 education 它没有像传统的结尾段那样简单的重申自己的观点

  总结之总结

  全文的观点有待揣摩作者很明显是不赞成题目的说法 Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents 但是作者自己是更偏向穷人家的孩子呢还是富人家的孩子呢根据文章来看作者是中立他所看重的是他们所接受的教育In other words整篇文章又是一次中立的写法在雅思考试中这种写法经常使用还是非常实用的大家可以学习一下。.此外文章中有很多好词好句特别是长句值得模仿一下

  此文9

(来源:新东方 俞鑫)

 

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