In 1979, some 6.1 million parents received their certificates for
being a single-child family. Today their children have grown up and
reached the legal age of marriage. Comparing to those children
growing up in a family with sisters or brothers, what are the
advantages and disadvantages of the marriage of the only child?
Wang Jie, an expert on marriage issues with the Tianjin Academy of
Social Sciences, pointed out four advantages and four disadvantages
respectively.
On
the disadvantages list, Wang puts on the top the frictions between
husband and wife. Compared with those from non-single-child
families, the kids of one-child families are more likely to be
spoiled and self-centered. They are not used to restraining
themselves and taking care of and showing consideration and respect
for others. These so-called "little emperors" or "little
princesses," or "little suns" will probably remain as they were in
their marriage lives. So there will be more frictions between
husband and wife, and none of them would like to compromise.
Second: weakness in rearing and educating their children. As both
parts of the couple are from single-child families and lack the
experience of bringing up a younger brother or sister, they usually
find themselves in great troubles once they have their own
children. Moreover, most of them concentrate their time and efforts
on pursuing their career and give little time for looking after
their children. They rely on social establishments to take care of
their kids, which may result in the children's mental
loneliness.
Third: burden in supporting their parents. A one-child family
usually has to support four old parents from both families, which
is a big burden. Even if they have enough money to support the
elderly, they can hardly afford time keeping their companies.
Fourth: parents' interference in marriage. Parents of the one-child
families usually hold higher expectations for their kids' marriage.
Very often, they would interfere into their children's mating and
marriage lives, which may add the difficulties for the younger
couple to have a happy and harmonious marriage.
However, according to Wang, there are also advantages in the
marriage of the only-child couples.
First: accompaniment between the two families. A feeling of
loneliness has been with the children of one-child families from
childhood to youth. As they grew up without brothers and sisters,
both husband and wife are eager to have a companion. Therefore, in
addition to love, there is a feeling of brotherhood between the
couple. Meanwhile, though their parents answered the call to have
only one child, they have always wished that they could have had
another one. The marriage of their kids indirectly fulfilled their
wish by letting them have son-in-law or daughter-in-law, whom they
would heartily take as their own offspring.
Second: plentiful financial resources. Comparing with people grew
up in a larger family, their financial situations are more stable.
As a result, it's better guaranteed for married single-children to
keep their lifestyle and other needs.
Third: simplification of the family. A simpler family structure
would usually cause less domestic contradictions. In the history of
family development, it is the trend that the family scope becomes
smaller while the social productive forces become more powerful and
the modernization level higher. It offers the individuals more
opportunities for development.
Fourth: better education for their kids. Psychologists believe that
children who were neglected in their childhood would mostly lag
behind in intelligence development. Parents of one-child families
pay more attention to their children's intelligence development
than the non-one-child families and usually spend more time in
stimulating the their kids' intelligence. According to domestic and
overseas researches, the level of intelligence, educations as well
as professional achievements of single-children are higher than the
average.
(China.org.cn by Li Xiao, July 4, 2003)