A released Chinese engineer Sunday recalled his nearly six-month ordeal while held captive by Pakistani Taliban militants: In constant fear and despair, he was prepared to commit suicide at any moment.

Long Xiaowei tells of his ordeal while held captive by Pakistani Taliban militants at the Chinese embassy in Islamabad Sunday, Feb. 15, 2009. [Xinhua]

Long Xiaowei, who was kidnapped along with his colleague Zhang Guo last August in the Dir region of northwest Pakistan, was freed Saturday and taken to the Chinese embassy early Sunday morning, where he told his tale.

"I never took a shower, nor did I change clothes there," 28-year-old Long said. “I lived on coarse food made of corn flour and alike.”

What's worse, he was threatened of being killed at any moment, the grave possibility of which pushed him to the verge of psychological breakdown.

"I had been living in constant fear and despair every day, so I put a knife blade in my pocket -- the nearest place I could reach to cut my artery to kill myself once they tried to kill me."

In this Oct. 7, 2008 file photo, Long Xiaowei (L2) and Zhang Guo (R2) appear with two masked militants. [Xinhua]

Long and engineer Zhang Guo both escaped in mid-October, but Long injured his ankle and was recaptured, while Zhang got away.

To punish Long, club-wielding militants ruthlessly hit his back and were alerted to highten security, confining him to a room of 15 square meters. They even dug a tunnel to connect his room with the toilet, so as to refrain him from any outdoor activities and thereby to better avoid escape.