Reinhold Niebuhr is a philosopher, theologian and writer who has been influential on the thinking of President Obama. One of his valuable insights can be found in his "Serenity Prayer" which reads "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I am not an expert on foreign policy, but only a concerned citizen of the world. However, it seems to me that the U.S. and Japan in shaping their reactions to China could benefit greatly from Niebuhr's wisdom. The new and undeniable reality is that China is a major economic and political force in the world and especially in Asia. Many commentators and writers, including many from the U.S., have noted that the U.S., Japan and Europe, too, must find a way to accept China's need and reasonable expectation to adjust to the new security and economic realities and needs that accompany China's rise in power and influence. There is a need for change and gradual adjustment to an emerging new global order.

President Xi Jinping and President Obama in their meeting early this year also talked about the need to forge a new relationship between China and the U.S. It was noted that this relationship need not be an adversarial one. Indeed, it hopefully will be a partnership that promotes peace and prosperity for all countries.

President Xi's China dream has been couched in terms of building such partnerships that would not only help China achieve its dream, but also to facilitate all countries, through trade, cultural and other forms of cooperation, in achieving their particular dreams.

For such a partnership to be successful, however, it should not be one in which parties are in denial of new and old realities and unwilling to change. It should not be a relationship where parties take actions to increase the likelihood of a miscalculation leading to a further division and distrust as opposed to actions that promote and strengthen a partnership and build trust.

The reality is that there are many areas in which China, the U.S. and Japan can choose to compete or cooperate as they adjust to evolving global realities. The focus should be on creating a framework with the emphasis on creating synergies rather than suspicion and one based upon the search for peaceful accommodation and recognition of each other's needs. This should involve a legitimate search for "win-win" solutions and outcomes that enhance global peace and prosperity.

In all of this, nations must effectively communicate, actively listen, and seek to understand the concerns of the other parties involved, and work persistently and creatively to find mutually acceptable solutions and the best path forward.

The author is a columnist with China.org.cn. For more information please visit: http://www.china.org.cn/opinion/eugeneclark.htm

Opinion articles reflect the views of their authors, not necessarily those of China.org.cn

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