Machiavelli for the microblog era
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Global Times, July 5, 2011
How do you properly fulfill your obligations to your family, friends and colleagues in an age where the average Zhou can post a few pictures of the new golf course you built on a public park and ruin your career?
After all, what from one side looks like corruption is from another side repaying a favor or showing gratitude.
The Web is the new sand trap in the course of doing business. So far it's just been luck that your mistress hasn't posted pictures of the Maserati you bought with embezzled money, or your son hasn't stabbed a jaywalker to death, thinking your influence would save the day. Get smart and learn to avoid the new hazards of the game - netizens and microbloggers.
Showing off
Don't try to gain face by showing off. You may feel you need to flaunt your wealth to let people know you are somebody. Instead, quietly give gifts and do favors. Don't worry, while the clowns in the loud shirts strut like peacocks, the scratch players will be impressed with your muted style and invite you to their private clubhouse.
On the other hand, everyone knows you have to kick some balls on the fairway to win sometimes. Don't pretend to be too clean, otherwise you'll become a target. Just blend in.
A simple photo of you wearing a Vacheron Constantin watch can make you unplayable - for the rest of your career.
Mistresses
If you absolutely must escape the bunker sometimes, married women make the best mistresses. They have their own game to worry about. But if you didn't get rich to sleep with old ladies, remember what a weird uncle dispatched to Shenzhen forgot when he allegedly attacked an 11-year-old girl in a restaurant - cameras are everywhere.
Smart golfers will always turn to a pro. But if you must fall in love, make sure your partner's "prize money" does not directly come from you. Otherwise, with a boastful blog entry she can sink your entire organization with one stroke.
Forbid photos, to prevent indiscreet snapshots of you wearing a facial beauty mask, or relaxing naked in her arms after a great round.
While everyone likes to score a "Little Three," when your birdie starts to tweet it's game over.
Children
Don't give your kids the idea that just because Daddy belongs to an elite club, they have special privileges. Calling your media friends to get sympathetic coverage is a fatal mistake.
If they learned their bad attitude from you, send them overseas. Encourage them to adopt English names.
If you keep a low profile and play by the new Internet-era rules, you can retire very early, move to the US and golf shoulder to shoulder with Wall Street investment bankers. They can show you how the game is really played. If you are tired of the game and don't want to join the senior leagues, you can freely tweet your passionate announcement that you have left your wife for another women - without penalty.
This excerpt is translated from the "Driven" column in To Golf is Glorious magazine, popular among newly high-net-worth individuals in China.
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