Overcoming cultural differences between East and West
- By Wang Dongying
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E-mail China.org.cn, November 19, 2014
When in Rome
Not all cultural clashes are to do with manners. Indeed my husband can get just a little miffed at my using chopsticks for everything, especially when I'm not eating Chinese food.
Even he acknowledges his attitude is rather petty, but he feels it's a matter of "when in Rome, do as the Romans do." To give him, and many other foreigners credit, they do at least try to use chopsticks when in China.
Chinese expats can be more adaptable when living abroad, though their stomachs remain extremely patriotic. In fact Westerners often find it far more difficult adapting to a new way of life in a foreign country, especially such a different culture as China.
Language is perhaps the biggest hurdle for most even in big cities where English is sometimes spoken.
Many Western expats miss their homeland for a number of reasons, be it a fast Internet connection, favorite TV shows, a decent coffee or cheese.
For the Chinese, noodles are one of the many home comforts. Indeed it is a running joke about the Chinese and their noodles in our household.
The reputation of Chinese and their preference of instant noodles when travelling has even prompted the Chinese president to chip in. On a recent visit to the Maldives, President Xi said that Chinese tourists should "eat less instant noodles and more local seafood."
While my husband also quips about my constant munching of noodles, he often tries to cheer me up when we're out camping, knocking up some noodle dishes. Moreover, when packing for any excursion he will always prepare a flask of hot water, instant noodles, chili powder, soy sauce and of course chopsticks.
The Chinese are perhaps a little less adventurous when it comes to trying local cuisine when travelling. Some will often resort to find a kettle in order to prepare some instant noodles, others will seek out a Chinese restaurant.
I remember landing in Chicago a few years back and instead of trying out local specialties like Chicken Vesuvio, the whole Chinese group sought out a restaurant selling Chinese hotpot.
Money matters
Of course, Westerners also have their faults in Chinese eyes. It is very much a Chinese trait to save, putting away money for a rainy day. But for many Westerners, debt and taking out credit is almost a way of life. And in a mixed marriage this can become a difficult issue to overcome.
My husband is little different from most other Westerners who would think little of buying a new phone or laptop on the credit card and pay it off over the months to come. But for the Chinese this would be unthinkable. Indeed having any amount of debt makes most Chinese feel insecure.
Other differences become apparent when dining out. "Going Dutch" or splitting the restaurant bill is common in the West, but would be considered unthinkable and even insulting to suggest it in China.
There is a financial consideration in the West, especially given the high cost of eating at restaurants. In China, treating someone by paying for a meal is a way of showing respect and hospitality, something that is perhaps lacking in British culture in particular.
Individualism
Individualism also poses challenges. Indeed even within a family, people in the West will usually not get involved or interfere in another's business. But in China it is not uncommon for family members to constantly offer advice to each other from financial and marriage issues, jobs, the purchase of houses to what one might wear when going out.
Both aspects have their merits and pitfalls. The "interference" seen in China may be annoying at times, but it is really an expression of caring. And of course, families will often help each other out more readily in times of trouble.
Conversely, the individualism seen in the West could be seen as almost selfish, not wishing to get involved when others even in a close family circle might need help. Nonetheless, even older family members often reject offers of help, primarily due to a sense of pride and wanting to remain independent.
All these differences need not create conflict. With time, bad habits can be broken and good behavior can be learnt. We can also learn to understand and enjoy new and different cultures. Just as many Westerners can learn to enjoy smelly tofu, noodles and ragingly hot Sichuan dishes, perhaps the Chinese will learn to love cheese as much as the French or maybe a traditional Sunday roast enjoyed all across Britain. After all, variety is the spice of life.
The writer is a London-based columnist and a journalist with a special interest in cultural exchange and sustainable development.
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