New parents learn valuable lesson after inviting yue sao into their lives
- By Ni Tao
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E-mail Shanghai Daily, February 23, 2016
The next morning, ayi came to our rescue. In her soothing arms, our son immediately ceased to cry at night. It does take a professional to calm a baby, I thought as I looked on approvingly.
Over time, my wife and I got to know ayi better and friendship steadily grew between us. I learned that ayi is herself a mother of two twin boys aged 15, both of whom are now studying in Shixi High School, a prestigious institution in Jing'an District. She shares an apartment of about 60 square meters with her husband and two sons in Putuo District. With several mouths to feed, the financial burden on her family is enormous.
Surging demand
Ayi Yu is one among a growing army of domestic helpers providing yue zi services to Shanghai households. In recent years, their services have become increasingly sought-after as old parenting ideals give way to new child-rearing practices and philosophies.
The surging demand for yue sao has pushed their salaries to as much as 10,000 yuan (US$1,533) a month — good money by local standards. There are even reports that fresh college graduates aspire to become yue sao.
After nearly a month's observation, I can tell that being a yue sao is no easy job. The pay is highly dependent on experience and years of service. And a wailing baby and frequent visits by relatives means ayi often manages only a few hours of fitful sleep each day. Despite what she says is fine pay, she works a maximum of nine months a year for health reasons. By the way, her work schedule is already booked till August.
During the Spring Festival holiday, we invited ayi to join us in celebrating my wife's birthday. Perhaps our invitation so moved her that her eyes went moist. In an apparent emotional gesture, she asked us to take pictures of her carrying my son, and share them as a reminder of her stay with us.
If there is any lesson I can learn from our time spent together, it is that respect begets respect. Respect isn't always there. Some are notoriously reluctant to show respect to people whom they believe are below them and there even are reported cases of home-helpers like Yu being driven away in the middle of the night following disputes with host families.
In about a week ayi will be moving on to her next job. We are already starting to worry how we will manage without her. Luckily, she has imparted much of her child-rearing wisdom to us.
What's more, she says we can always consult her through Wechat.
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