七、戒语句重复

汉语多重复，以强化语气；英语则要尽量避免重复。

先生曰：“狼负我，狼负我！”狼曰：“吾非固欲负汝。天生汝辈，固需吾辈食也。”

"You are an ungrateful beast," complained the man.

"Not at all," retorted the wolf, "it is not that I’m ungrateful, but you men were created for us to devour." （颜惠庆译《马中锡·中山狼传》）

王曰：“此鸟不飞则已，一飞冲天；不鸣则已，一鸣惊人。”

"The bird may not have flown yet", replied the King, "Once it does, it will soar to the sky. I may not have cried out yet, but once it does, it will startle everyone."

（杨宪益译《史记·滑稽列传》

阿凡提借了财主一锭金子，还他时给了他两锭。

Afanty borrowed a small ingot of gold from a moneybags, but repaid him two ones. （选自艾临《幽默新大陆》）

又斗争，又团结，以斗争的手段，达团结之目的。

Unity, struggle, unity through struggle.

中国人也好，外国人也好，死人也好，活人也好，对的就是对的，不对的就是不对的。

What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong, no matter what it concerns, the Chinese or foreigners, the dead or the living.

八、戒另起炉灶，走失精气神，沦为法国作家梅纳日所批评的“不忠的美人”——即语言优美但不忠于原文。（参见2005年08月26日《济南日报》：艾临文章《不忠的美人与忠实的美人——写在〈每天幽它一默〉出版后》）严复在翻译《天演论》时偶有为“雅”而不“信”（见陈廷佑《英文汉译技巧》）。译文要力求其“信”，尽可能契合汉语原来句子的气势、情绪和结构。

例如，元朝人王实甫写下了《西厢记》，张雪静改编后并作了翻译——

掏出张生那封信，回头环视见梳妆台上的梳妆盒，眼睛一转，心里说有了，将信放了进去，合上盖时故意压了一角露在外面。

Rose took out Zhang’s letter, she thought, “It would be better to put it in her make-up case, and letter find it herself.” So she put the letter in the case, leaving a corner of it sticking out, so that it would be quickly noticed.

不难看出，译文与原文相去甚远，互不吻合，成了“两张皮”。

我们不希望这件事影响中美关系。

China hates to see Sino-US relations damaged by this incident.

用China hates to比“We don’t hope”贴切。

吾十五有志于学，三十而立，四十而不惑，五十而知天命，六十而耳顺，七十而从心所欲不愈矩。

At fifteen, I had my mind bent on learning truth; at thirty, my words deeds were appropriate; at forty, I perceived truth and doubts ceased; at fifty, I understood what heaven had mandated for mankind; at sixty, I could comply with the appointments of heaven; at seventy, I could do as my heart desired, and never swerved from the path of right. （金沛霖译《论语》）

你已经死在过深的怨愤里了吗？

死？不，不，我还活着——

请给我以火，给我以火！

Have you perished in this deep rancor and bitterness?

Death? No, no. I’m still alive.

Please give me a light, give me a light! （欧阳桢等译《艾青·煤的对话》）

（来源：新东方）